So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
