Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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