This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
