i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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