one two three fourrrrnication!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
