I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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