Sry I called you an 8
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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