The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
