just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
