i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
