in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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