i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
