too bad you live with your parents still
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
