i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
