dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
