i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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