What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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