All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
