i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
