no, he came in my armpit
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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