I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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