There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
