He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
