Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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