He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
