chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
