BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
