So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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