I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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