i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it wasn't lemon gatorade
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
