You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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