We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I smell like Dick and happiness
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