Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I cut my penus on the lid.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
