Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
