I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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