I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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