Im at strip club and am horny
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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