My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
