ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
