Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
