and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
