shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
