What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm sobbing to NWA
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
