Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
