alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
