Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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