we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
