I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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