i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
