i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
