I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
