Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
