she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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